Things I Learned from Sleeping Outside in the Open
- Jackals do not gnaw your head while you sleep. Besides, they’re in Africa.
- Mosquitoes do, even through mosquito netting.
- Space blankets do not protect you from the coldness of the ground.
- Air pads do, and are therefore the absolute best invention since sex.
- Dew is cold as hell, or would be if hell froze over.
- The dawn songbirds are saying, “holy fuckin-a I’m soooo cold,” but God bound them to only sing pretty tunes.
- If you get up and move around at dawn, the temperature rises 70 degrees.
- If you do not get up and move around, your legs will fall off.
- The sun is the most beautifully warm thing in the world. Except, (so I understand), God.
- Coffee is a specialty medication designed to bring you back from purgatory (which is cold).
This entry was posted
on Friday, October 30th, 2009 at 7:41 pm and is filed under Personal.
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